As I have written in past, I have been bothered by some health issues over the last few years, seemingly getting worse and culminating in me thinking I was dying in October of 2017. No, not really dying but a gun to my head would have felt good.
I had talked many times to my friend Jayne, a Chinese doctor on many of my aches and pains, I guess hoping that a miracle would happen in her advice or thoughts. Well, it might have should I have listened in the first place. Well, it may have directed me in another helpful direction.
Long story short, after taking almost 6 or seven months of “slowing it down time”(Darrell would not agree with this), seeing what seems a bazillion doctor, having diabetes meds changed and taking some new to me natural products, I can safely say I feel WONDERFUL. Not quite one hundred percent but back in the saddle.
I recently did a workshop, for a group around fostering and found that I love foster parents all over again. I am not sure how much I would get back involved, if at all, directly but it was fun to present to them and hear from new foster parents and seasoned alike.
What was even more important for me is how this already collective group, energized not only me but seemingly themselves. My style for the most part, in presenting is audience participation, as I find that I get as much out of the audience as they may get from me.
I tend to tell those stories about my family that hopefully resonate with their families and it either helps them or creates questions that they then can clarify their challenges.
I think though, now at this stage of my life I am not so much the advocate but feel more like a conductor. I don’t believe anything changes without a few key elements: things need to seem desperate by many to make change happen, people need to be guided in how to bring change positively, sometimes people do not know there are challenges until they run hard into them, so informing them on what others going through similar situations may need to happen.
I have always been a believer that it takes many voices to become one strong voice. SO…. In this, is where I think my new personal role will be. How do I continue to support a Ministry that has given me a beautiful family, that for all intense and purposes been so good to us as a family and that has in many ways demonstrated to me there are people here that want to change and do great things within the system? How do I balance that with the seemingly injustices that I also can see in the system, the individual shows of power and control I have seen in individual workers and management?
I want to be a voice, a face, a personality that people identify with bringing people together by sitting down and finding solutions. Holding conversations, presenting multiple views and solutions to similar challenges.
I thought I always wanted to be a politician but realized more often than not, you had to be someone you are not. You had to be too “strategic”, a game player, a person often associated without integrity. If we are following today’s politics this seems to be true.
No today, I am focusing on me, and what I can do to contribute. To be my authentic self in doing so. Being politically incorrect, because really one man’s offense is another humor and it works back and forth.
I guess the long way round (ADHD kicking in here), is that the recent workshop that I presented, rejuvenated my desire to continue to help in whatever way I can. I have learned the word NO, and “are you kidding me”, “really”? and “seriously”?
Do what makes you happy, do what you feel is good work and everything else will fall into place. People will always want to bring you down….they are the ones not doing much of anything good. They believe that because they may do their jobs well, or are a great mom that is all that is required to be a good person….so not true.
Thank you all for continuing the journey with me and my family.