Almost 17 years ago we started the journey of fostering. After a bump in the initial few months it has been the most rewarding thing we have ever taken on. We started the process well over 20 years back after being approached by a social worker for a gay teen.
That did not work out as our family was then young and we were contemplating already, our move to the mainland. Soon after our arrival in North Delta we started the process on our own. We have not regretted one moment.
When you foster you learn so much about yourself and your biological family. The good bad and the ugly. Those who will accept, those who will stay the course with you and those that won’t. You will be amazed at your strength and recognize your weaknesses.
Fostering is not, I repeat not for everyone. Having said that if it is your thing you will be rewarded over and over many times with the love of the kids you care fore.
In our 17 years we have had close to 50 kids. We are still in contact with many of them. We have had good relationships and bad with their bio families. It can not be easy having your children removed and live with someone else, thus sometimes you as a foster parent are caught in that anger. My Favorite saying when talking about Bio families is “but for the grace of God go I”, and “I shall walk a mile in your shoes”.
Fostering through the Ministry often leads to being asked to continue with the children once the courts have made them permanent wards of he province. We were blessed to have 5 of our children come up for adoption while living in our home as foster children. We then March of 2010 adopted 5 children of 3 different families on the same day. Going from Darrell, myself and Bobbie and Shane to Jessica, Michael, Trinity, Dylan and Rain.
We now have 3 more great boys in our home. They are all currently our foster boys, but soon we will begin the exploration of adoption for them as well.
If in fostering you do not want to become a foster parent with the thought that you WILL adopt, as the mandate for all foster parents is to work towards the safe return to a healthy environment of family of the children in care.
Fostering is not for the faint of heart, it is hard. I remember on a birthday of one of our now adopted boys, when his bio mother did not show for his birthday party, he had his little face pressed to the window waiting so patiently. My now 30 yr old daughter then 20 wrote on facebook, “today I looked in the eyes of sadness”. I remembering thinking, wow she gets it, and then followed with I am so truly blessed that I have this amazing family.
I encourage you to think about fostering, there are many forms what that could look like.
It will truly change your life and the lives of those travelling in your journey. If you want to adopt do it just do it. Again no one said life is easy, but you can help make someone’s life a little easier.